I am alive but barely. JK! Except for sore shins and a little knee pain I am doing good. I got my calorie burn in today by doing 7 miles, shredding, yoga, and some various other things. I had to go with shredding to get my last few calories burned cause my legs are trashed so I needed to add some arms and abs into the mix. Tomorrow I will do a little P90X to mix it up. I hit nearly 2100 yesterday and right at 1900 today. My meals have been okay. I am trying to follow the compulsive eating book for my food intake. While I am following most of the ideas in the book, I am sticking with 1500 calories max.

Both boys have camps again tomorrow so I can still work out in the morning. Kallie is home now so I will have to figure out what to do with her. It is supposed to be a daycare day but I feel bad sending her when I am on vacation. However, I did promise myself that I would do this challenge everyday so maybe I should just take her in the morning. I haven't decided. There is no way I could get my morning mileage in with her and I have no desire to push an extra 70 pounds around which would include the weight of my jogging stroller.

I am icing my shins now. I iced my knees earlier. Going without pain meds today unless I can sleep then I will go with my muscle relaxer. I know tomorrow the 3rd day will be the hardest as far as being sore. I will just waddle through. I can do it.

Okay, I have the week off. I have a plan. I will torture myself Biggest Loser style for the week. Sounds like fun, right? I can burn 1800 calories everyday. Keep my eating under 1500 calories a day. By the end of the week I will have lost an unbelievable amount of weight, right? I know it's crazy. But you say crazy like it's a bad thing!

I got up this morning and took one child to baseball camp. I left the car parked at the field and started walk/running when I realized the child above had borrowed my garmin and hadn't charged it. So I walked to the house cause I knew that was 1.5 miles. I plugged in the garmin, took a pit stop, and headed out again. Good thing my droid has many programs that sort of take the place of my garmin. I had wanted to work out without music so my NIKE + also got to stay home. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and the voices in my head. I walked the entire time my son was in baseball camp, with the exception of 2 bathroom breaks. I made it 7 miles this morning. When it was time for baseball camp to be over, I made my way back to the car just in time. I logged my calories at that point and realized I was over half done. Thank you heart rate monitor for not allowing me to die even though you kept thinking I was going to according to your uncontrollable beeping.

After a nice lunch and rehydration, it was time for another baseball camp and another one to basketball camp. This time I drove to our "ranch". It has a nice caliche road that is 1.5 miles long. I started strong but it was much hotter than earlier and I used my water up quickly. I made my way to the back side of the land and was really sick. Without details, it was an emergency! I was also out of water and 1.5 miles from the car. I checked the water tanks to see if I wanted to take a chance with the cattle. Gross, not to drink but just to get in and cool off. I wasn't sweating at all and that's a bad sign. I decided to forgo the water tank and just make my way back to the car slowly. I finally remembered where some water was that I could drink from and I was revived. Got back to the car safely. At one point the flight for life came over me and I wondered if my husband had called 911 to come get me. I also had some flashbacks to movies and wished I had a mirror to flag them down! Just kidding, I wasn't that bad off.

I made it back home finally with enough time before camps were scheduled to be over to jump in an ice bath. The dog really wanted to join me but it was too cold for her or my screaming scared her away. Not sure which. I also had time for a regular shower. Go me!

I ended up with 10 miles, 2100 calories burned and so far have only eaten 700. I took an ice bath, iced my knees again, taken some anti-inflammatory medication and maybe a muscle relaxor. I hope to be able to stay awake through closing ceremonies tonight for baseball.

Not sure what tomorrow will hold but my mom has my daughter, both boys have camps again so I could take another day to torture myself. That is if I can get out of bed. I am sure the biggest losers have no problem with Jillian screaming in their ears. Wonder if I could pay my crazy neighbor to do it?

Boy am I bad about posting on my blog. I wish I was a once a day poster at least! I wish I could do this from my droid (any suggestions?). I figure I can take a few minutes and post so I will try and see how long that works out for me.

Summer is in full swing around our house. Baseball games most every night. The kids are at the pool everytime they get a chance. Since they built a new swim center 1/2 block from the house it makes it easy. Expensive but easy. We are members of the local country club but the pool is all the way across town and they can't get there safely yet. (I know, all the way across town is like 2 miles but that includes a major highway and a train track.)

Kallie is going to daycare two days a week this summer and she is mad about it. I don't blame her. I think the boys went some when they were younger, when I taught summer school or took my graduate classes. It doesn't seem far to her and she would much rather come to work with me anyway.

Trevor starts his Strength and Conditioning Camp tonight. He is supposed to go 4 nights a week for 5 weeks. I am really proud of him because he has been getting up to run each day, lifting weights some, and playing baseball. He is a good kid and really excited about h.s. athletics. I hope some jerk of a coach doesn't ruin it.

I have been walking alot, swimming some, golfing a little, and working on building our arena. It's not enough but it all counts for something. I am working through some self-improvement/food issue books trying to solve the compulsive eating problem. True to the book, I have gained some weight as I begin the process but am dealing with that also. I need to go buy some summer clothes that fit now and quit waiting for another size.

Guess that's all for now.

Today was a day off from work, from school, from chores, from much of anything! I loved this day. I slept late, really late. I got to take a nice long hot bath without any interruptions. I got to read a book. I took a nap. I did some laundry (thank goodness I only had enough soap for one load, cause I don't want to go overboard). I did a load of dishes. I played with Kip's dog. It was a good me day.

I am reading a new book about emotional eating. I also have a workbook that goes with it. It's pretty good but I haven't decided if it will help me or not. It has caused me to think about why I have been eating over the last few days. I will let you know how it goes.

I am still sore from working on the "swingset". Surprisingly, the back of my legs are the worst. I guess because I can't bend my knees to get down and work, I did a lot of bending instead of squatting. It feels good to be sore. I think we can finish the playground with another day of work.

Baseball season is in full swing so most nights are full with either practice or games. Thursday night we have 6 things scheduled all for the same 2 hour block of the evening. Thank goodness Mom will be able to come help out.

My daughter is calling for my attention. It has something to do with a hula hoop. Sounds exciting!

I haven't been taking much time for myself lately. I have been allowing myself to be drained by others. At the end of the day, who am I kidding, at the beginning of the day, I have nothing to give to myself. That will change today. I deserve more from myself and I deserve more from others. I want to make myself important again. I am doing some work on that. In the meantime, I am trying to decide the path to take to get me back to where I need to be. I have been playing around with it for a few weeks and lost 13 pounds. That's been wasted now. Another month of treading water. That's the past. I am looking towards the future.

I really liked the blog today, "The Lawsons did Dallas". http://granolasdodallas.blogspot.com/2010/05/sport-of-selfishness.html It made sense to me, the reasons for running. Now I have to figure out how to get back to that place. The place where I matter, where nothing will get in my way, where I can take steps forward to a healthier me. That's what matters, health.

I am sure you could travel down the pages of my blog and read the same message over and over again. I am not sure that this time will be different but I really want it to be.

Well my travels brought me back to Austin again. This time is a completely different experience than the last. Two of our students received awards from UT through our migrant program. Thanks to TEA approval we were able to bring their families to share the experience. Many of you who are not involved in education may not understand the limited experiences that some students/people have had in their lives. Things that we take forgranted are things they think they will never see or do. For example, ordering from a restuarant. Even then they want to know where the $1 menu. None have been to a mall or a movie. First time to stay in a motel and today will be the first time they have been served breakfast cooked to order. First time to swim in a pool for some of them other than the swimming lessons we provide during summer school.

Last night was the first for Asian food. I tried to help them pick safe foods. Most of the 16 were happy and only one would openly express her distaste for her choice but was able to find something she liked. Luckily they had snacked all day so no one went hungry!

Later back at the pool, only one or two had swimsuits but no one seemed to mind that they got in with shorts and tshirts. I tried to get them to try the sauna but no one wanted to, they were afraid it would take their breath.

Today we were going to a march for Cesar Chavez but the kids asked to go to a mall instead. Tomorrow we are going to a museum, IMAX, the Capital, and some exhibits. Monday is the awards presentation, and Tuesday is the drive home.

I have learned alot about their lives and they have all survived things that I hope my own children never have to know. Not only have they survived but they are doing well. I am a better person for having known them and for being able to take this trip with them.

Tommorrow we head to Houston after a few days in Austin. Food intake has been okay, water intake a little low, exercise consisted mostly of walking. Before we had left home, I was down 5 pounds. Not sure what the scale will say when we get back. Traveling is always hard. I think I have done better this time because I packed lots of healthy snacks and even a few meals. We haven't eaten out in any out of control ways and I have stayed in my calorie range every day.

I am not sure that the vacation has been much for the kids. They always expect something grand and I don't always feel like I can meet their expectations. The boys are getting to the point where they think they are too old to just hang out at the pool and "play". Some cute girls got them to stay longer one day. I had wanted to take them to the Capitol and to UT but it rained one day and then the mood left me. Maybe we can get those visits in tomorrow before we leave to go to Houston. Maybe I should quit trying to please everyone and just relax myself.

That brings up another thought or maybe more of a feeling. It feels so hard to put myself first. I have been sick this week with a cold/sinus infection and really felt the worst in the morning. I just wanted to sleep. So today I did. I also sat next to the workout room everyday but felt like I couldn't ask the boys to watch my daughter for long enough to get a workout. I did one day but not again. There has been some other stuff that has taken away from me but I won't discuss that here. I guess I type all this to help me realize that I need to make some time for myself. I need to make my wants, desires, and needs important. But how do I do that after all these years?