This is a struggle. It's more then what it seems. If you have never had a problem with weight, you can't understand. It's not the hunger. It's not a lack of will power or desire. It's not about cravings. I don't even think it's really even about addiction. Of course if I knew what it was about, not only could I help myself but I could help others.

Things go along great and then it hits. I had a great number on the scale this morning. I am exercising again. My clothes are falling off. But then something changes...the food will be in my mouth before I know it. I will look around to see if anyone is watching. I will look for something else to eat. If I start with salty then I will need sweet but if I start with sweet then it doesn't satisfy. It's a rushed eating. There is no reason for it. There is no craving. There is no need.

I can't understand this "disease" and I have to deal with this fight every minute of everyday. It never leaves my thoughts. In this way, it is similar to an addiction.  Tonight I have made it through another battle.  This blog is my coping mechanism tonight. I will not give in to the overwhelming desire to eat.