Man, I am tired of dieting. I am tired of eating the same ole food. But oh, wait, I am tired of being fat also. I guess I am just tired. I know I need to keep going down this road but I am weary. My mind and body are weak. My emotions are high. I am feeling extra sensitive to words and actions.

This is the edge of a depression I have felt before. It is a darkness that I see coming but I don't want to or can't move away from it. I don't want to function. I want to lay down. I don't want to need and I don't want to be needed. But somehow, I have to keep going. I have to keep getting up. I have to keep moving.

I can't let this "weight" be the wall I can't break through. I can't be satisfied with this plateau. I can't let this be good enough. I deserve and some part of me, wants more. So yes, the darkness is there but I aware of it.

I can conquer this because what I fail to conquer will eventually conquer me.