Author: Jilligan
•6:36 PM
Today was a day off from work, from school, from chores, from much of anything! I loved this day. I slept late, really late. I got to take a nice long hot bath without any interruptions. I got to read a book. I took a nap. I did some laundry (thank goodness I only had enough soap for one load, cause I don't want to go overboard). I did a load of dishes. I played with Kip's dog. It was a good me day.

I am reading a new book about emotional eating. I also have a workbook that goes with it. It's pretty good but I haven't decided if it will help me or not. It has caused me to think about why I have been eating over the last few days. I will let you know how it goes.

I am still sore from working on the "swingset". Surprisingly, the back of my legs are the worst. I guess because I can't bend my knees to get down and work, I did a lot of bending instead of squatting. It feels good to be sore. I think we can finish the playground with another day of work.

Baseball season is in full swing so most nights are full with either practice or games. Thursday night we have 6 things scheduled all for the same 2 hour block of the evening. Thank goodness Mom will be able to come help out.

My daughter is calling for my attention. It has something to do with a hula hoop. Sounds exciting!
Author: Jilligan
•11:30 AM
I haven't been taking much time for myself lately. I have been allowing myself to be drained by others. At the end of the day, who am I kidding, at the beginning of the day, I have nothing to give to myself. That will change today. I deserve more from myself and I deserve more from others. I want to make myself important again. I am doing some work on that. In the meantime, I am trying to decide the path to take to get me back to where I need to be. I have been playing around with it for a few weeks and lost 13 pounds. That's been wasted now. Another month of treading water. That's the past. I am looking towards the future.

I really liked the blog today, "The Lawsons did Dallas". http://granolasdodallas.blogspot.com/2010/05/sport-of-selfishness.html It made sense to me, the reasons for running. Now I have to figure out how to get back to that place. The place where I matter, where nothing will get in my way, where I can take steps forward to a healthier me. That's what matters, health.

I am sure you could travel down the pages of my blog and read the same message over and over again. I am not sure that this time will be different but I really want it to be.