Author: Jilligan
•10:35 AM
I have lost 30 pounds since school started. I was so close a few days ago and then the scaled went the wrong direction but today I was rewarded with the pounds I needed to reach a mini goal. I have another one in mind that I want to reach by Christmas. I think I can do it but it will be close.

What are your goals? Are you doing anything to reach them?
Author: Jilligan
•8:59 AM
25 pounds gone since the first of school. That's all.
Author: Jilligan
•8:29 AM
So far this month, I am down 10 pounds. I am feeling pretty good. I plan on taking measurements again at the end of the week. Someone told me this week that they were noticing I had a waist. It was rude in the context but after I got over the snide remark, I turned it into a compliment. LOL! It's all about how you look at it. Her glass was half empty but mine was half full! Have a great day.
Author: Jilligan
•6:20 AM
I have two very hard jobs in my life. Both are rewarding at times but most of the time these jobs are difficult. Most of the time my blog is about my job of dieting but today it will be about another job, parenting.

As of tomorrow, we will have a 15 year old son. When he was a baby, it was just us. The three of us against everything, but really it was just me and my son. My DH worked long hard hours so most of the time it was just the boy and me. I was still in college so we drove back and forth to school. He would always want his hand held, even while I was driving. He would say, "Tighter, Momma, tighter. Squeeze tight, Momma!" He would sit in my lap and let me read to him but very early on he learned to memorize books so he would take over the "reading" as soon as he could. He was a funny child and could make us all laugh. For a while in his life, he was the only child around so lots of people gave him their undivided attention. My uncle trained his eyes to help him with hand eye coordination. This same uncle had him walking by 6 months. His first sentence was, "I want to wope steers." But most of the time all he was concerned were balls. You could hear him all over the house saying, "Abba bbabee babba BALL." My grandad built him a contraption in the back of their furniture store so he could become a better ball player. He taped a box on the floor and hug a ball from the rafters. They played all day long. My grandparents and my aunt and uncle took care of my son while I went to college. It was a wonderful set up and I believe it helped my grandad fight off Alzheimer's for a few more years.

Things aren't that simple anymore. He is growing up and has to make a lot of decisions on his own now. He doesn't want me to hold his hand anymore. He doesn't want to be squeezed tighter. He doesn't want my uncle helping him to walk. It is hard to let go and daily we are faced with the challenge and wonder, hoping we have taught him enough to make the best decision. It's all about choices these days. But the consequences of these choices aren't being weighed until it's too late. I know we have to let him grow up and do things for himself but it is so hard. Sometimes more than others. Yesterday afternoon was one of those times. I want my funny, happy child who enjoyed life. I am not wanting him to feel the pressure he felt when he was younger to make everyone happy but want him to do what is right. I want him to be happy again.

Today we are going to XC. A sport he could excel at if he only believed in himself. His talent is wasted on so many levels. I don't know how to get him to see how good he is at everything he does. I don't know how to build his self esteem. I don't know how to improve his self worth. So it's hard and it weighs heavy on my mind and soul. My prayers are always surrounding this child as he grows into a man. I hope it isn't my fault. I hope I won't "ruin" my other kids. I hope I can see success in this job of parenting.

This morning I am feeling very blue. I am feeling very inadequate. I am feeling very distraught. I hope that we will all come out on top and some day will all be happy again.
Author: Jilligan
•7:46 AM

When you are on a "diet" these are the things you have to deal with. Besides the feeling of hunger or emptiness, you are constantly bombarded with advertisemnt for food. Commercials, radio spots, billboards, photos in magazine, and even texts. I get a weekly text from Sonic telling me about their deal of the week! Better unsubscribe to that one because it always seems like they have sensed my hunger and boom, send a text.

Additionally, I have things like Sunday dinner with the family, Muffins with Mom, and Bosses lunch.  I have gotten over the questions from the family but am struggling with the idea of the muffins and orange juice on Friday. Both of these items violate my diet but aside from that they skyrocket my bloodsugar.

Bloodsugar, that reminds me of the KrispyKreme fundraiser that I also dealt with this week.

What else is there? Oh right, the mexican bakery that sends a lady around with fresh baked goods every Tuesday. There was also a board meeting with authentic Mexican food, fried tortilla chips, and a fried tortilla dessert with cinnamon and sugar.

Yesterday I had to go to the mall so there was the smell from the pretzel stand, Starbuck's, and the cookie factory.

So you ask, how have a done with all of this? Great. Tomorrow marks one week on the WOE, no starches, no sugars, no wheat. 6.6 pounds gone, which is more then great because you know my relationship with the scale was very rocky on the last WOE-Conquer TF Loss.

Happy Thursday all. May the muffins survive tomorrow.

Author: Jilligan
•9:35 AM

I tried to sleep late this morning after weighing but my mind never would shut off. I kept thinking, I never tied the name of my last post back to the post.

So moving out meant the fat is moving out! Sorry for the confusion.

Author: Jilligan
•6:34 AM

Today is my day off from work. I plan on sleeping this morning but I had to get up to weigh. I am down 3 pounds this moring on both scales!

Author: Jilligan
•6:43 AM

I got a new scale yesterday. I wanted a digital scale that read ounces also. It stores your numbers from day to day and tells whether you lost or gained. Compared to my old scale this morning it weighed me 2.2 lbs heavier.  Whatever. Its a new scale and a net set point but it all involves work anyway.

Todays further restriction with sugars and starches. Let's see if we can get this weight moving in the right direction.

Yes, you asked, I am up early on a sleep late day. Wanted to weigh at the same time, have a relaxed cup of coffee, and read a little before the chaos starts. Have a great Sunday.

Author: Jilligan
•7:29 AM
Motivation is a funny thing. No matter how bad you want something for someone else, you can make them want it. You can force them into doing things that might get them closer to what you have in mind but if it isn't their goal, you can never get them there. What if they have great talent that they are wasting, you might ask. What if they can't see the future and how today's choices are affecting it? What if they can't see what you can see? None of that matters because until they do see, until they do want, until it becomes about them...there is absolutely nothing you can do.
Does that mean you quit trying? I don't think so. Does it mean you care less or push less? I don't think so. Does that mean you give up on trying to get someone to realize their full potential? I don't think so. Does it mean at times you will be frustrated? I think so. Does it mean at times you will be angry? I think so. Does it mean you might argue? I think so. Does it mean you stop caring? Never.
Just realize my motivation is not your motivation and your motivation may not be mine. Just realize my dreams are not your dreams and your dreams are not my dreams. Just realize I love you no matter what and you love me no matter what. In the end, we will all have regrets but not because we didn't try and not because we didn't try hard enough. But let's make sure our regrets are our own. Live your own life not through someone else's life.
Author: Jilligan
•7:46 AM

Today I am starting a new WOE. It is strict. It will be hard. Thank you ahead of time for your support. I know you will understand. I know you won't judge me. I know you will support my efforts. I know you won't sabotage my success. I know you won't undermind my effort.

At least these are my hopes ahead of time. Let's check back in a few days and see how we have done together.

Author: Jilligan
•7:08 AM

Mornings around our place can go either way. Good intentions aren't always enough when you have an exhausted teenager and an opinionated 6 year old. The green kangaroo in the middle is pretty even.

However on this morning things look good in the world. I have traded my offensive alarm clock for a soothing rain storm cd. I have had my cup of yerba mate. I have the coffee ready. The kids are moving along at a steady pace. It's beautiful outside. Fall is in the air.

Today I will be in the office all day and that will be trying but I have prayed for everyone. Beyond that I can only control my actions. I will walk at lunch to avoid gossip. Plans people, you just have to have a plan of action to avoid the evils of discord.

I hope your day has started as wonderfully as mine. If you have other plans for the day don't bother ruining mine.

Author: Jilligan
•9:15 PM
I just finished 8 weeks of Conquer the Fat Loss. I lost 15-18 pounds depending on the day and the scale. I want to start another plan in a week to 10 days but I am not sure what to do in the meantime. I don't think I will do another round of Conquer or Crack the Fat Loss. I am just not happy with the way it went this time. I am considering BFL because I had great sucess with it before. (-90 pounds). But I was really, really, committed to the food plan and the workouts. I had access to a gym. I had a support group. I had a desire and a focus. I am not sure I have any of those now. So I know I don't have many readers or followers but what do the few of you think?
Author: Jilligan
•1:07 PM

I could say a lot about this week or I could say little about it but one thing is for sure, this has been a week. Diet and exercise has gone well. Family is great. Work is, well work, read a problem. Don't know what's going on. There are several things that could fix it. The stars could align, everyone could grow up, people could put on their big girl panties, or the devil could go somewhere else. Any one of my suggestions would help.

Back to the diet/exercise portion of the blog. Weight was down this morning but am still holding at 18 lost. I was bothered by it but am hoping the theory of "your body needs to adjust to a new setpoint" is at work here.  I have upped my exercise this week. We will see if that helps. I know I am doing better then I have in the past so that will be my focus.

I have the afternoon off because my kids got out of school early. Can't wait to enjoy the rest of the day and the weekend.