Author: Jilligan
•3:07 PM
Looking back on all my calendars and my plans, I see that I had things pretty well mapped out for a while. But the documentation is lacking because the activity stopped. Where did the time and the motivation go? Did I tackle too much? Was it too hard? Was it out of my reach? I don't know.

Already this time, I was so sore I agreed to skip a day justifying that I would just move my rest days and it would be fine. Then I had a late night with extended family. Then another excuse. So now I have missed three days in a row, only one of them should have been a rest day. Three days...where did the time go?

I will start over tonight after basketball games and school projects, baking for Christmas parties and wrapping friends gifts. Where does the time go? I don't know but I have to find it and I have to use it for myself.


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Author: Jilligan
•5:51 AM
Well for two mornings I have gotten the early to rise part down. Still working on the early to bed part. Christmas Choir concert last night, a late supper with my mom, and Insanity workout all keep me up a little later than I needed to be but I enjoyed each one. My middle child always loves being in the choir in school but has never sang in the concerts. I mean, he was standing on the risers always but rarely did we see his mouth move. Last night, he actually sang, we could hear him!

My daughter is doing the Insanity workouts with me. She doesn't enjoy sports as much as the boys so it's always a struggle finding something to keep her active. She has really gotten in to the workouts though. She wanted to quit a few times but I would start counting down how much time we had left and she would join in. Sometimes I would just get her going again by yelling, "Girl Power!" I think she enjoys that we have something to do together without the guys. She started yelling for me when she saw me struggling also. It's been a good two days. Hopefully we can keep going. I don't know about her but I am so SORE. I am also running so maybe that's why I am sore. She doesn't seem to be. Of course, I have 31 years on her and some extra weight.

Diet(WOE-way of eating) was good Monday and Tuesday.

I had forgotten how much I enjoy these early mornings. Just me, my coffee, my workout, my dog, and the quiet. This is something I can continue to do for myself. However, I am going to have to get to bed early sometime or else these early rises will catch up to me.

Hope you have a great day. The road is long and the gate is narrow, hope to see you out there.


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Author: Jilligan
•6:01 AM
I only know two ways to go about this, either nothing at all, which as been my approach for the last several months, or all out, compulsive. I am back to compulsive. It's one of my quirks. I have many but that's another blog entry.

Confessions: I have gained 23 pounds in my time off. My joints hurt constantly. My sleep is erratic. My moods are extreme. My health is poor. My diet is that of a phone commercial, limited during the week but when the weekends get it, it's all free. Stress has ruled my life for months. Kids, money, job, did I mention the kids? But these are all excuses. I have chosen poorly when deciding to deal with my stress. No, I don't have it as bad as others but I am dealing with some stuff I wish I wasn't. My kids are dealing with things I wish they weren't having to deal with. I could go on and on.

Regardless, I have been working on a plan for a few days. That's my compulsive nature. I like to plan...to...the...T. I don't always start those plans and I don't always stick to them but man oh man, when I do, I am spot on.

I think I will stick to a plan for a while. I don't like where I am. I know the weight by itself isn't what is making me unhappy but I know it hurts to use my body, mentally and physically, as a coping mechanism for life. Now, some might say this plan of mine is the opposite extreme. Well, I can either make time to regain my health or I can continue to make time to lose it. Which extreme would you like me to go to? I only know two ways.


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