Author: Jilligan
•5:37 PM
I have really enjoyed my break this year. We haven't done much but what we did needed to be done. We cleaned the yard, we cleaned the kids room, and I almost got caught up on laundry. My DH took the 2nd week off so we have spent lots of time as a family, just hanging out. Of course there have been the usual family events that come with the holiday as well.

I am in a new place in my weight loss journey. A good place and things are moving in the right direction. I started working out again. I am back to drinking my water. I have a 1/2 marathon plan in place. I am really looking forward to January 1, 2011 for many reasons. I have no resolutions because I decided a while back to make resolutions for everyday if that's possible. I know what I want in life and I am on the path to get it. I truly believe that things will continue to fall into place.

Happy New Year to you all. Thanks for sticking with me through another year.
Author: Jilligan
•10:58 PM
I am doing great. Made it through Christmas as planned. Got my cravings out of the way and didn't overeat. Started back on the WOE today and doing great. No hunger and no cravings. Didn't get enough to eat today because somethings got in the way and I just forgot to eat my planned things like an apple. I really have to get back in the habit of drinking more water. I don't think there is anything at all on the schedule for tomorrow so I plan to start the day with a pot of coffee and a good book. May not get out of bed until noon if I can get someone else to make the coffe! Hope you are enjoying the holiday season and I hope you have as great a family as I do.
Author: Jilligan
•1:15 PM
I have lost track of what day we are on as far as celebrating. I have also lost track of the number of events we have had this Christmas break. I am loving it though. I usually hate Christmas. It makes me so sad since my grandparents are gone. I only got sad a few times so far though. Once talking to Ashley, once thinking about how much certain people have helped me along this weight loss journey this time, and once last night when I saw Grandma's picture with the tea. Much better then spending the whole time feeling sad.

Food issues are going okay. I didn't over indulge. Just had samples of what I wanted. And yes, the cobbler crust was worth the wait. I had a bite of divinity, Aunt Bill's, and crackers with meat sandwich spread. I skipped the potato, gave up on the bread, and avoided dessert at Granny's (homeade reese's peanut butter cups).

Merry Christmas everyone, must rush off to the next family event.
Author: Jilligan
•10:57 AM
Well into the holiday season and still going strong. I am sampling what I want today, tomorrow, and Sunday. Will do just fine. Weight is down this morning. Didn't like the pictures from last night but my clothes were too big. Oh well, just because I am finally seeing what I look like doesn't mean other people haven't seen it all along.

Keep up the fight. Merry Christmas all. Sorry this isn't more thought out but you know the rush of the holiday season is upon us. We have two family Christmas event today.
Author: Jilligan
•6:31 AM

Wow, this last pound is making me work for it. Up and down for two weeks trying to get it. Today I am within .2 pound. Close enough I am calling it. So 45 pounds in 4 months. I did better then some of the biggest losers from last nights final and they had 8 months to get rid of theirs.

Now granted, I am no where close to being finished. I had really let myself go this time. I am back to where I comfortable resided for most of my adult life. This is the weight I was at a few sort months after getting married. This was the weight I started two of my pregnancies at. This was the weight I ran two half marathons at. I have changed jobs at this weight. I have lived at this weight but I can't say I really enjoyed life at this weight. I also know my body can live 20 pounds lighter. I have done lots at that weight also. I have a whole closet for that weight.

But my final goal is beyond even that weight. It is a weight I reached 9 years ago. It's 47 pounds away from today's weight. But this second goal will be harder. My body will start to resist after the next 20. My desire will weaken. Life will slow me down. I may become satisfied. I may give up.

So instead of the goal we are going to talk mini. The first mini goal was going to be 25 but then I thought I should change to 10 because already 25 seems unattainable but 10 doesn't. But this is all about hard things so we are going with 25. 

I did 45 in 4 so let's go for 25 in 2 or so. By the end of February, I hope to be expressing a new goal. Check back and see what I am able to accomplish.

Author: Jilligan
•8:24 AM
1 pound away from my end of the year goal. I wasn't sure I could make it but now I am feeling confident. People are starting to notice. Man, it's depressing that it takes 45 pounds before someone notices. Maybe it doesn't take that much because I hadn't seen this person that noticed yesterday in about two months. Maybe that's what it takes. It's not the people you see day to day but the ones you don't see for weeks or months on end that really notice.

Anyway, I am feeling good overall as far as weight is concerned. My clothes are falling off. My knees don't hurt as much. My foot doesn't kill me every morning when I get up. I know, I know, I still have a long way to go but I am proud of making it this far.

Here are some useless stats. I need to get rid of 4 more pounds to be considered overweight and not obese. I need to lose 1 point from my BMI to move from obese to overweight. I have lost almost 45 pounds since the first of August. I have lost 30 inches (haven't measured lately) from various points.

I am feeling worthy of my goal. I am dedicated to this journey. I have gone over 65 days with only one slip up. Next week I am going to reintroduce carbs to my diet one at a time to see how I react to them. I am still off of dt soda with only an occasional drink. I don't feel the overwhelming desire to have one so I am trying to keep that in mind.

I have made it past Thanksgiving, birthday luncheons, Christmas work parties, snack day in the lounge, and candy sampling. I have made it through meals with bread at Logan's, chips at Leal's, cobbler at Sharon's, and lonely meals. I have made it through several stressful personal events. I have made it through all of these things without turning to food.

The next round starts Christmas Eve. What will that round bring? I hope for another 45 pounds. I hope for a healthier me. I hope for a positive outlook. I hope for you to join me.
I am
Author: Jilligan
•5:50 PM
Stress is rampant in my life right now but I am hanging on. If you don't know it, I hate liars. Just absolutely can't stand to be lied to. I know it is something I have to deal with but it just makes me so mad.

Diet is going good. Family is going good. I took the day off to just let the stress of everything else handle itself. I had a great day with my oldest son. He had a basketball game this morning and then we spent the rest of the day together. Lots of talking and some shopping. He is growing up so fast and needed a few things to make it until Christmas.

I love all my kids. They are so great. I don't know what I would do without them. Glad this is a good week as far as they are concerned.

I have some other friends who haven't been so lucky lately. Please pray for these parents as they deal with the growing pains of their children and grandchildren. I know that God is good and will help us all get through the trials the devil lays before us.
Author: Jilligan
•9:09 AM
It took 13 to get 5 but it's been worth it. The last two Sundays I would be down and then Monday would come and I would be up. I would fight all week to get back down to Sunday's weigh-in and then hope for a little more. Last week I ended up with a net loss of 8 ounces. This week, the same trend started but it was off by this morning. So I am posting a true 40 pound weight loss. I got my reward for it already. I got my eyeliner tattooed. I love it. I will post a picture as soon as I get one I like. I have taken a few I like but I also visited the dermatologist last week and he burned a few places off that are close to my eyes. They interfere with pictures.

I will let you see soon though.
Author: Jilligan
•8:46 AM
Well today I am going to get a reward for my weight loss. It is something I have wanted for a year or two. I am going by myself. I want to be alone when I get it. I want to be the first one to see it. It will hurt but I hope it will be worth it. I will post results after, maybe a few days after.

I still have 55 more pounds that I know I can lose. That's the smallest I have been as an adult. I don't have any idea what I weighed in high school. I think I have blocked out the numbers. Maybe I can get smaller then that but I know that will be a good healthy place and I know I can get there because I have been there before. But after today and this post, I am not thinking of it as 55 pounds but as two small goals of 27 pounds. Maybe I need to break it down more then that but we will see.

Any guesses on my reward? No fair if you have prior knowledge of my reward list!
Author: Jilligan
•8:44 AM
35 pounds since school started this year. 10 more for Christmas goal. Better go drink some more water right now!
Author: Jilligan
•6:16 AM
Saturday morning has meant alot of different things in my life. Cartoons, sleeping in, track meets, cross country meets, coaching track meets and cross country meets, breakfast in bed, wrestling with the kids, watching track meets and cross country meets, football games, debate tournaments, early trips to catch a bus or drive a bus, and coffee. Coffee seems to be the only constant! I love having enough time in the morning for a cup of coffee with my DH.

Today I am blogging while drinking mine and he is reading the latest workout book I bought to add to our collection. We are up early because the oldest had to be at the bus for debate by 5:30 and the middle has to be up for a football tournament. But in between the two events, we have a little time for ourselves.

Back to the book...when we were both in high school, the athletic staff, namely Richard Albertson got us hooked on a program called Bigger, Faster, Stronger. We both thought it was great then so we looked it up and found out it is still going strong, no pun intended. We ordered the whole program. Now I have a thing for books about running, working out, dieting, fitness, nutrition, etc, so I was pumped (again no pun intended) about it coming in. Only thing is, DH hasn't put it down since it got here. He watched the DVD, he read the magazine, and now he is reading the program book. We plan on getting the whole family going on the program, well, except maybe not Princess. Much to my dismay, she has no desire for sports at all. She does like to run and I am still holding my breath for the rest of her love of the game to follow.

We have a two hour drive ahead of us today. I am stealing that book and reading it for myself. I will annoyingly impart some of my new knowledge on you at some point in time. I am just preparing for one day when my dream comes true and I get to do what I have always wanted. No, not torture you. Okay, well, maybe. But it would be in a "I am doing this for your own good, helpful sort of way."

Diet is going great. Weight and inches are coming off. Goals are being smashed. Keep on keeping on.

Those of you that have been supportive, thanks. Those of you that haven't, whatever.
Author: Jilligan
•6:05 AM
I have avoided eating to deal with stress now a few times in just the last week. Some times stress just seems to pile on. I am proud of myself for choosing other ways to deal with it. I listened to my rain cd. I read some books. I took a bath. I went to bed early. I cleaned the house. All good things to do instead of eating.

This morning something was on my mind and I just couldn't get back to sleep. Instead of laying there tossing and turning, I got up early and made some coffee. I got ready for work and instead of rushing, I had time to blog and reflect. Now I am completely done with myself so it will be less stressful getting the kids up and ready.

If you don't know, we got three new pigs (FFA projects). I told someone we had 25 extra seconds in the day and needed to fill it somehow! So the kids have to get up earlier now to go check the pigs. I think they are going to take turns so no one has to suffer every day. The pigs are cute. I like two of them but don't like the fattest one. I think I have an aversion to her weight. Anyway, the baby's name is J.R. and the other two don't have names yet. I figure if we have to eat them, we might not want to name them.

Have a great day.
Author: Jilligan
•10:35 AM
I have lost 30 pounds since school started. I was so close a few days ago and then the scaled went the wrong direction but today I was rewarded with the pounds I needed to reach a mini goal. I have another one in mind that I want to reach by Christmas. I think I can do it but it will be close.

What are your goals? Are you doing anything to reach them?
Author: Jilligan
•8:59 AM
25 pounds gone since the first of school. That's all.
Author: Jilligan
•8:29 AM
So far this month, I am down 10 pounds. I am feeling pretty good. I plan on taking measurements again at the end of the week. Someone told me this week that they were noticing I had a waist. It was rude in the context but after I got over the snide remark, I turned it into a compliment. LOL! It's all about how you look at it. Her glass was half empty but mine was half full! Have a great day.
Author: Jilligan
•6:20 AM
I have two very hard jobs in my life. Both are rewarding at times but most of the time these jobs are difficult. Most of the time my blog is about my job of dieting but today it will be about another job, parenting.

As of tomorrow, we will have a 15 year old son. When he was a baby, it was just us. The three of us against everything, but really it was just me and my son. My DH worked long hard hours so most of the time it was just the boy and me. I was still in college so we drove back and forth to school. He would always want his hand held, even while I was driving. He would say, "Tighter, Momma, tighter. Squeeze tight, Momma!" He would sit in my lap and let me read to him but very early on he learned to memorize books so he would take over the "reading" as soon as he could. He was a funny child and could make us all laugh. For a while in his life, he was the only child around so lots of people gave him their undivided attention. My uncle trained his eyes to help him with hand eye coordination. This same uncle had him walking by 6 months. His first sentence was, "I want to wope steers." But most of the time all he was concerned were balls. You could hear him all over the house saying, "Abba bbabee babba BALL." My grandad built him a contraption in the back of their furniture store so he could become a better ball player. He taped a box on the floor and hug a ball from the rafters. They played all day long. My grandparents and my aunt and uncle took care of my son while I went to college. It was a wonderful set up and I believe it helped my grandad fight off Alzheimer's for a few more years.

Things aren't that simple anymore. He is growing up and has to make a lot of decisions on his own now. He doesn't want me to hold his hand anymore. He doesn't want to be squeezed tighter. He doesn't want my uncle helping him to walk. It is hard to let go and daily we are faced with the challenge and wonder, hoping we have taught him enough to make the best decision. It's all about choices these days. But the consequences of these choices aren't being weighed until it's too late. I know we have to let him grow up and do things for himself but it is so hard. Sometimes more than others. Yesterday afternoon was one of those times. I want my funny, happy child who enjoyed life. I am not wanting him to feel the pressure he felt when he was younger to make everyone happy but want him to do what is right. I want him to be happy again.

Today we are going to XC. A sport he could excel at if he only believed in himself. His talent is wasted on so many levels. I don't know how to get him to see how good he is at everything he does. I don't know how to build his self esteem. I don't know how to improve his self worth. So it's hard and it weighs heavy on my mind and soul. My prayers are always surrounding this child as he grows into a man. I hope it isn't my fault. I hope I won't "ruin" my other kids. I hope I can see success in this job of parenting.

This morning I am feeling very blue. I am feeling very inadequate. I am feeling very distraught. I hope that we will all come out on top and some day will all be happy again.
Author: Jilligan
•7:46 AM

When you are on a "diet" these are the things you have to deal with. Besides the feeling of hunger or emptiness, you are constantly bombarded with advertisemnt for food. Commercials, radio spots, billboards, photos in magazine, and even texts. I get a weekly text from Sonic telling me about their deal of the week! Better unsubscribe to that one because it always seems like they have sensed my hunger and boom, send a text.

Additionally, I have things like Sunday dinner with the family, Muffins with Mom, and Bosses lunch.  I have gotten over the questions from the family but am struggling with the idea of the muffins and orange juice on Friday. Both of these items violate my diet but aside from that they skyrocket my bloodsugar.

Bloodsugar, that reminds me of the KrispyKreme fundraiser that I also dealt with this week.

What else is there? Oh right, the mexican bakery that sends a lady around with fresh baked goods every Tuesday. There was also a board meeting with authentic Mexican food, fried tortilla chips, and a fried tortilla dessert with cinnamon and sugar.

Yesterday I had to go to the mall so there was the smell from the pretzel stand, Starbuck's, and the cookie factory.

So you ask, how have a done with all of this? Great. Tomorrow marks one week on the WOE, no starches, no sugars, no wheat. 6.6 pounds gone, which is more then great because you know my relationship with the scale was very rocky on the last WOE-Conquer TF Loss.

Happy Thursday all. May the muffins survive tomorrow.

Author: Jilligan
•9:35 AM

I tried to sleep late this morning after weighing but my mind never would shut off. I kept thinking, I never tied the name of my last post back to the post.

So moving out meant the fat is moving out! Sorry for the confusion.

Author: Jilligan
•6:34 AM

Today is my day off from work. I plan on sleeping this morning but I had to get up to weigh. I am down 3 pounds this moring on both scales!

Author: Jilligan
•6:43 AM

I got a new scale yesterday. I wanted a digital scale that read ounces also. It stores your numbers from day to day and tells whether you lost or gained. Compared to my old scale this morning it weighed me 2.2 lbs heavier.  Whatever. Its a new scale and a net set point but it all involves work anyway.

Todays further restriction with sugars and starches. Let's see if we can get this weight moving in the right direction.

Yes, you asked, I am up early on a sleep late day. Wanted to weigh at the same time, have a relaxed cup of coffee, and read a little before the chaos starts. Have a great Sunday.

Author: Jilligan
•7:29 AM
Motivation is a funny thing. No matter how bad you want something for someone else, you can make them want it. You can force them into doing things that might get them closer to what you have in mind but if it isn't their goal, you can never get them there. What if they have great talent that they are wasting, you might ask. What if they can't see the future and how today's choices are affecting it? What if they can't see what you can see? None of that matters because until they do see, until they do want, until it becomes about them...there is absolutely nothing you can do.
Does that mean you quit trying? I don't think so. Does it mean you care less or push less? I don't think so. Does that mean you give up on trying to get someone to realize their full potential? I don't think so. Does it mean at times you will be frustrated? I think so. Does it mean at times you will be angry? I think so. Does it mean you might argue? I think so. Does it mean you stop caring? Never.
Just realize my motivation is not your motivation and your motivation may not be mine. Just realize my dreams are not your dreams and your dreams are not my dreams. Just realize I love you no matter what and you love me no matter what. In the end, we will all have regrets but not because we didn't try and not because we didn't try hard enough. But let's make sure our regrets are our own. Live your own life not through someone else's life.
Author: Jilligan
•7:46 AM

Today I am starting a new WOE. It is strict. It will be hard. Thank you ahead of time for your support. I know you will understand. I know you won't judge me. I know you will support my efforts. I know you won't sabotage my success. I know you won't undermind my effort.

At least these are my hopes ahead of time. Let's check back in a few days and see how we have done together.

Author: Jilligan
•7:08 AM

Mornings around our place can go either way. Good intentions aren't always enough when you have an exhausted teenager and an opinionated 6 year old. The green kangaroo in the middle is pretty even.

However on this morning things look good in the world. I have traded my offensive alarm clock for a soothing rain storm cd. I have had my cup of yerba mate. I have the coffee ready. The kids are moving along at a steady pace. It's beautiful outside. Fall is in the air.

Today I will be in the office all day and that will be trying but I have prayed for everyone. Beyond that I can only control my actions. I will walk at lunch to avoid gossip. Plans people, you just have to have a plan of action to avoid the evils of discord.

I hope your day has started as wonderfully as mine. If you have other plans for the day don't bother ruining mine.

Author: Jilligan
•9:15 PM
I just finished 8 weeks of Conquer the Fat Loss. I lost 15-18 pounds depending on the day and the scale. I want to start another plan in a week to 10 days but I am not sure what to do in the meantime. I don't think I will do another round of Conquer or Crack the Fat Loss. I am just not happy with the way it went this time. I am considering BFL because I had great sucess with it before. (-90 pounds). But I was really, really, committed to the food plan and the workouts. I had access to a gym. I had a support group. I had a desire and a focus. I am not sure I have any of those now. So I know I don't have many readers or followers but what do the few of you think?
Author: Jilligan
•1:07 PM

I could say a lot about this week or I could say little about it but one thing is for sure, this has been a week. Diet and exercise has gone well. Family is great. Work is, well work, read a problem. Don't know what's going on. There are several things that could fix it. The stars could align, everyone could grow up, people could put on their big girl panties, or the devil could go somewhere else. Any one of my suggestions would help.

Back to the diet/exercise portion of the blog. Weight was down this morning but am still holding at 18 lost. I was bothered by it but am hoping the theory of "your body needs to adjust to a new setpoint" is at work here.  I have upped my exercise this week. We will see if that helps. I know I am doing better then I have in the past so that will be my focus.

I have the afternoon off because my kids got out of school early. Can't wait to enjoy the rest of the day and the weekend.

Author: Jilligan
•6:48 AM

The scale is up again. What is wrong? I am being honest with myself about everything I am doing and eating. I will not quit but its a terrible way to start the day.

Author: Jilligan
•8:08 PM

I have had a great day. I went over 10000 steps, I walked for one hour outside, I drank my water, I stayed in my calorie range, I jumped on my little trampoline, and day 3 without soda. Scale was back down again this morning to my lowest on this round. I hate that scale but I am not going to let that scale get me down. I am going to beat it. As long as I am taking more steps forward then backwards.

Planning on another good day tomorrow.

Author: Jilligan
•6:24 PM
Scale was up again this morning. I didn't even have a full fledged free day. I gave up dt soda yesterday. I have been without now for two days. I am staying under my calorie allotment. I am getting my calorie burn in daily. I am getting frustrated. I know it can't come off quickly but I want it to at least come off and not hop back on the next day. I will finish out Conquer the Fat Loss this week. Not sure but I think I am going to BFL next week. It really makes the most sense. It is a plan I can continue forever. I was really successful with it before. I can be successful again. I don't have much to blog about. Lots of emotional stuff going on with me but nothing I want to share. Just thought I better let everyone know I am riding the roller coaster of life. I don't expect the ride to stop anytime soon but I am looking for a smooth patch.
Author: Jilligan
•10:41 PM

I just want to be able to go into a store and buy regular clothes in a regular size.  I have two gift certificates for Academy. I want to buy some cute workout clothes. I don't want to buy shoes, mens clothes, or socks.  I went into Academy twice today. Once before my meeting and then again at lunch. I left without anything both times.

Author: Jilligan
•8:40 PM
Today was the beginning of week 7. It is the same as last week as far as meal plan. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I made it through my birthday week with one oz of chocolate cake and one oz of red velvet. I am proud of that. The rest of the red velvet is sitting in my kitchen but that doesn't really bother me.
My DH is gone this week to a training. He was actually asked to be an instructor at a lineman school. He was really pumped about that. However, that means I have to go to work late everyday since I am dropping off the kids. Good thing I have a nice boss.
Also, we are experiencing some hard things as parents right now. I never dreamed I would have to do what I did this morning but we made it through. I hate to be the type to bring something up and not finish the story but I think it is up to the one who made the mistake to confess the mistake. We had a great sermon yesterday about living for the future and not the present. I really think that's especially true for kids. They are always in the present. I know, this to shall pass. I know, things could be worse. I love my kids and will always love them no matter what. I am just having a hard time with it. But on a good note, I didn't eat the problem. I knew that food would not help solve nor would it make me feel better.
On top of all that, work is crazy again. Lots of emotional decisions being made all around. I hope that good will prevail. I trust in my boss and myself, as well as the ones that work closest to us. After the last round, I have learned to put my trust in God and he will see me through.
Thanks for the therapy. Tomorrow is a new day.
Author: Jilligan
•7:03 PM
What is the goal really? Is there just one? Are they big or small goals?



I posted yesterday that I was a little disappointed by the lack of results I was seeing with the WOE I am currently working with. But at the same time, I am rational about the amount of time this plan of mine will take. All this being said, I have been thinking about the goals I have set for myself. I have several and I hope that all of them combined will help me reach the biggest one-good health.



My goals:




  1. Conquer the Fat Loss Code for 8 weeks (currently on week 6)

  2. Reach my initial calorie burn goal of 2100 daily and increase it by 500 every week.

  3. Lose 32 pounds by the end of Christmas break

  4. Lose 80 pounds overall (no time period in mind)
  5. Become a runner again
  6. Lower my blood sugar to a normal level
  7. Find my way to a healthy life.

But all these are really big goals in and of themself. I can't focus on one without focusing on them all. Each of them will work together to help me reach the ultimate goal. I can't let them overwhelm me. Now to find the path that will lead me to each one of them.

Author: Jilligan
•5:53 PM
So this week starts 3 weeks of the strictest part of this WOE. It is also the most complicated of the 8 week cycle. Fats up, carbs zero or carbs down, fats down, or fats down, carbs baseline all of which means nothing if you haven't read Crack the Fat or Conquer the Fat. I was a lot more impressed with the writing and editing of the 2nd book until I got to the diet plans this week. I think once again, Chant rushed to press with this one. I know, she was on her death bed and has since passed but it seems to me, if she was the diet guru she claimed to be, she wouldn't want false information on the market. Furthermore, her "diet partner" whom I never heard of until she passed away, is shoving more nonsense down the throat of dieters now in an attempt to make money off of her company. It's all unfortunate because the Crack program had lots of followers. The books were hard to find, the blogs were on fire, and the company was really seeing success. I am sure the same would have been true of Conquer if Chant had lived long enough to promote the book.

I will continue to follow it through the last three weeks but I haven't seen a lot of progress with the plan. I have been true to it overall, with just a few minor slip-ups. I am still ahead of my weight loss goals but haven't seen the scale move significantly in a while. I am committed to the process but just not sure this is the right path for me.
Author: Jilligan
•1:23 PM
I have been under the weather for a few days but feel like I am on the mind. Day 3 of antibiotics must be working. I have been able to stay within my calorie range during the "sickness" and have barely gotten my calorie burn. I figure I may have burned more through the fever but who knows! I haven't weighed every day this week. I am sort of willing to treat this week as a wash and not worry about the scale as long as it hasn't gone up. The one good thing was that I didn't try to make myself feel better by eating. Even when my mouth was broken out in blisters, I was worried about eating yogurt or drinking cranberry juice for fear of the effect it might have on my diet. That may seem extreme but it was necessary because sometimes, one wrong thing can send me into a binge.

I have done fairly well for nearly 5 weeks. I want things to happen quicker then they are but I know that's not what's best. I am just going to make it to the Christmas holidays and then re-evaluate my plan. I can do it. It's only 4 months and I hope 32 pounds.

Drink your water, take your vitamins, and wash your hands. This flu is a bad one and is starting early.
Author: Jilligan
•12:20 PM
Today has reminded me of the cotton eyed joe...Where did they come from? Where did they go? I have lost 15 pounds in the last 4 weeks. Where from? I don't know. My rings are loose. I had to tighten my bra. Regardless, I will take it. All this being said, you can't tell that I lost 15 pounds. I am still heavier than I have been in the last 3 years. I still have 80 pounds to go. But the good news is that I don't still have 95 pounds to go. And that the scale is not moving up.

Other then that, it's the same old story. This is a long blah, blah, blah process. I can stay on blah, blah, blah plan. I will drink my blah water. I will make good choices, blah, blah, blah.

Did I mention I have the flu? Maybe, just maybe it is making me cranky. That and the fact that I have only gotten 7 hours of sleep combined in the last two nights. And it's labor day and everybody is off but me.

As I look back over the last few posts, I have been pretty negative. Maybe I need an attitude adjustment. A little retail therapy? A Sonic happy hour dt. coke? A vacation? Some tamiflu? What do you do to give yourself an attitude adjustment?
Author: Jilligan
•6:21 PM
Today started out terribly. I had to take two of the three kids to school which isn't any big deal except one of them can't be dropped off until 7:30. If I don't leave town by 7:15, I am late to work. See the problem, at least the first one anyway. The 2nd one was that my daughter didn't pick out any clothes last night, plus it was pe day and she didn't know where her shoes were. So yes, as the worst parent in the world, I lost it. I was beyond upset. As I was searching her room for clothes and shoes, she decided she wanted to wear her cheerleading suit which has been missing since dress up day. So we had to look for that, shoes, and socks. Then after all of this, I go back to the living room and my son is relaxing in the lazy boy while I am screaming my head off. No, it never occurred to him to get up and help.

All of this put me really behind for work which left me with no time for breakfast. I met back up with my DH to get some cash and went for the compulsive eating purchase. I bought a bag of pretzels. Carbs always help, right? I made it about ten miles down the road and texted my support group. They told me to step away from the carbs. I decided to take their advice.

And the day got better. And I survived. And my daughter forgot about my rant. And my son was helpful again by this afternoon. And the day was okay.
Author: Jilligan
•9:15 PM
I made it through the day. I ate according to plan. I exercised. I got my steps in. I did not let this day win. I let myself win. I decided to and I did.

I even made chocolate chip cookies for Kallie and didn't eat any. Not any dough, not any cookies, not even a crumb. Okay so I kind of overcooked them on purpose because I like them soft and gooey. No one else seemed to mind!

I took several steps in the right direction today. Could I have eaten a cookie? Yes, it's not a crime. It's just not in the right direction for me today and probably not for awhile. But guess what? I didn't die. I made my daughter happy. And I feel pretty good about the day. For a day that started so worrisome, it turned out to be an okay day. Wonder what tomorrow will hold.
Author: Jilligan
•9:35 AM
Today could be a bad day. I lost it when I got on the scale and not in the way I wanted. I lost it when I had to get dressed and nothing fit. I literally have two pairs of pants that I can wear to work. This day will be a test. This day could be a failure. This day could be a step in the wrong direction. But so far, I have decided to continue to work my plan. I have decided to stay on track even if I am standing still. I have decided to pass this test. For now. The day is young and the bad thoughts are coming out.

I have a goal...you can't reach that goal.
It's 4 months away...you are already behind.
I can lose 8 pounds a month...yes, but you gained this morning.
I love grits...whatever.
I will give up dt. cokes...in your dreams.
I can drink more water...you hate water.
I can exercise more...your knees and feet hurt.

Etc...and it continues.
Author: Jilligan
•6:58 PM

If I make it through this evening I will have been on plan all week. I have had a few cravings but have worked through them. I got my free choices in yesterday and haven't suffered additional cravings because of them. I haven't seen the scale move much but I know it will come. I am going to try to step up my exercise this week.

Here has been my issue today. The family wanted a snack/supper after swimming and before church. I had already had my planned snack so I wasn't hungry. I knew if I went in with them I would order something because of the smells and the past tastes. So I said I would just sit in the car. They misunderstood and brought their food back to the car so now I am trapped with the smells and the sounds. This is something I will have to deal with. Tonight I decided to blog while they ate. But the thoughts of food have been planted. What now?

Author: Jilligan
•8:07 PM
Feeling good about myself tonight. I have had two good days with this WOE. I don't want to get too cocky because it's only been two good days but sometimes it's the little things that make the big difference. It seems to me like I have spent a lot of my life trying to lose weight and a little of it gaining it. Why does it come on so much faster then it goes off? I could eat something crazy and gain 5 pounds overnight then starve myself the next week and still not be able to get it off. If I could figure it out, I would be rich. I have decided the key is just to stick with it. Don't allow myself to backslide. Hold myself accountable to everything that goes in my mouth. This includes binging, sneaking, sampling, nibbling, and everything in between. That and not buying cheese danishes!
Author: Jilligan
•6:32 PM
We are making progress, me, myself, and I. Today I have taken steps again to move in the right direction. I had a few rough days there but I am going again. Actually, I just had a few rough afternoons. I made my plan last week and I am going to stick to it. I packed my food today. I drank my water. I walked the walk.

The kids started school today so lots of changes for everyone. My oldest went to high school, the middle child started jr. high, and the youngest is a 1st grader. After school, I talked to the 6th grader first. He loved school. He loves his teachers. He had a great day. My fish was indifferent. He made some girls mad at lunch with his buddies and they got their lunches dumped on them. He didn't seem too angry about it, thank goodness. My first grader is in bed already! Not sure if it will be a nap or if she will sleep all night. Apparently school is hard work when you are in the 1st grade. She loves school so I am not at all worried about her.

Better get off the computer and make some dinner. Also need to finish my other 2 miles still. I can do this, hang in there with me (myself and I).
Author: Jilligan
•8:23 PM

But somehow I ate thee! There was one danish left in the teacher's lounge, there was a childhood dessert served at lunch, there were chips at dinner, there was a tortilla and honey and then they were gone. Just like that. Not going to have them and then I did. Then once I had taken one step in the wrong direction I took another and another.

I am going walking now. I am drinking lots of water. I know the problems and I have the answers. Want to hear the plan?

Take my cooler to work with my meals prearranged.
Drink my water.
Drink less dt soda.
Stay away from the lounge.
No matter what foods my friends are bringing to me, I can still say no.
Exercise, exercise, exercise.
Talk to someone for reinforcement.
Blog.
Work the plan.

Thanks.

Author: Jilligan
•8:26 AM

I lost my motivation for about 12 hours. I had icecream again (which was allowed) but the next morning I had a cheese danish. A cheese danish is one of my most favorite foods. Okay so I had two of them. Not in one sitting but one at the first of the 12 hour losing it and one at the end of the 12 hour lost it period.

Gotta get it back today because that little 12 hour period cost me 2 pounds. That and maybe my first cycle in 8 months which could have also contributed to the cravings!

Working on losing it without losing it today.

Author: Jilligan
•10:15 PM
Tonight I had a chance to have homeade ice cream-butter finger. My son had been by with several different choices of ice cream and I was able to resist. But then he came by with butterfinger, ice cream with big chunks of butter finger. I asked him for a bite and he left me half the cup. I took a bite and it was good. I gave the cup to my husband. I got a headache almost immediately. Guess it only takes a few days for your body to adjust to low carbs. Glad I stopped after one bite instead of eating the whole cup. Go me!
Author: Jilligan
•9:36 PM

I went walking tonight by myself, well, I had the dogs. I am not a fast walker but thanks to one of the dogs, the pace is a little faster then usual. Anyway, to the point...I saw some people I knew while I was walking. I didn't talk to them and they didn't talk to me but as I was approaching them I thought of all the things they must be thinking or saying. Granted I never heard them say anything, but I imagined lots of things I thought they might say. And everything I thought was ugly or negative. Nothing positive, nothing encouraging, and nothing nice. But it wasn't them talking. It was my own negative self talk. I was saying those things to myself. I was thinking those things about myself. The whole process made my angry because I was actually becoming mad at them as I passed them. Yet they had done nothing to me. Luckily, tonight, I was able to catch what I was doing to myself and make the choice to stop. Most of the time I can't. Most of the time, I let the negative take control.

I have had to deal with a lot of negative lately. Some of it my own, some of it from others but all of it directed towards me. I am trying not to let these types of things impact me.

Positively, I ate clean again today. All week we will have desserts at work so I will fight that battle. I also walked 3 miles and took the dogs. I got some laundry done and put up. I mowed the yard. I can combat the negative!

Author: Jilligan
•8:41 AM
http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/2010/08/valiance.html

This is a must read for anyone who has lost weight and is at a stand still. Keep up the fight. Remain valiant!

Today is week 2 for me. Food wise, it will be a repeat of last week. Stress wise, it will double. I had a bad night with some personal issues and didn't sleep well. Hoping to shake all that off and get going again. I have eaten one meal and although I ate it angrily, I did not stress eat or overeat. Things will be fine but sometimes you just can't help life.
Author: Jilligan
•5:06 PM

Sunday dinner with my family always means lots of food and a wonderful dessert. Today was no exception but I had to look at the meal differently to fit my WOE.  I had roast without gravy, skipped potatoes because my carb was going to be a homeade roll, salad w/o dressing, green beans, and asparagus. I did without the "fruit" salad, the potato, the cauliflower salad, and the most difficult: dessert. It was a peanut butter pie which goes great with coffee. It wasn't the hardest decision like it would have been with cobbler or Sunday pie. I just told myself today wasn't the last chance ever that I would get to have peanut butter pie. And just because I couldn't have it today didn't mean I would never get it again. It's just that right now, today, it wasn't what my body needed.

I didn't walk away hungry and I didn't walk away wanting more. I walked away satisfied that I had given my body what it needed. I made good choices today. I am walking in the right direction.

Author: Jilligan
•8:03 AM

While it's true that the scale and I have had a relationship for years, it has been a love/hate thing. However, after another nice visit this morning we have done more to mend the errors of our, um, my ways.

We are heading to my son's first high school football scrimmage. I can't believe he is going to be 15 in a few months. Before long he will be gone.

That's just 4 years from now. Another blogger I read has taken over three years to get rid of 100 pounds. I hope it doesn't take me that long but I am going to be living those years anyway. So getting to the point...I will be healthy before my oldest son graduates. Once he told me that we were like the beads on my bracelet. He and his dad were the skinny ones and I was the fat one. I don't want to be the fat bead anymore.

Author: Jilligan
•7:35 AM

The scale loved me today. It rewarded me with a good number. It realized how hard I have worked this week. We have a good strong relationship today. I think I will continue to work on it.

Author: Jilligan
•1:45 PM

Mobile posting-does it work?

Author: Jilligan
•10:49 PM
So far so good. I haven't had any of the carb cravings that I did with the first week of crackin the code. This plan takes you down for a few days and then lets you come back up before going down again. It seems easy enough. I really like another blog I read that said something to the effect that it may take many months to get back to where I need to be but I will have to be present in those months anyway. Wouldn't it be better to live them each day then to die a little more each day? I want to be able to say this time tomorrow that I did something good for myself, that I made good choices in the last 24 hours.

Today was a good day. I got my food right. I got a treat tonight according to the plan. I got my walk in. I blogged. I recorded my food. I drank my water. I will go to bed before midnight.

I will do this.
Author: Jilligan
•4:12 PM
Well, I am back on the "code" but I am doing conquer instead of crackin'. It is easier to begin with because you don't have the carb deplete to go through. However my DS says that's when you get rid of the weight!

I haven't done very well this summer. I actually have gone in the wrong direction for most of it. Can't continue down this road any longer because before long I will be too far to come back.

I also started my marathon training again. Granted, it's going to be awhile to build my base back but I can do it by taking one step at a time.

This won't be easy but every day I have a choice. It's up to me to make the right one.
Author: Jilligan
•7:13 PM

It's my week to babysit so we came down early. Got in Friday and we leave next weekend sometime. We didn't do much yesterday and did a little shopping today. I was able to find tj some shoes he wanted and some jeans.
Kallie got hair cut to donate for a chemo patient. She got a pink extension for a reward and also got to go to build a bear.
Tonight everyone is hanging out playing the wii. I am hoping for some Firehouse wings but haven't heard what the jury has to say about that.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Author: Jilligan
•6:01 PM
This could take a while but I finally borrowed my son's iPod, downloaded blogpress and will see if I can be better about posting updates. Don't hold me to it cause nothing else has worked! Here's hoping!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Author: Jilligan
•10:14 PM
Today has been a good day. Got to go back to sleep after waking the boys up for baseball practice. Got to go to the movies with Kip and Kallie. Got to go out to eat for supper. We got lots of rain, some said 5-7 inches. Hubby is getting lots of overtime and as long as they stay safe, that's good. And now I am watching some t.v. with my middle child. Good easy, nice slow, wonderful day.
Author: Jilligan
•2:49 PM
A whole week of killing myself and I lost 5 pounds. That was when I wasn't supposed to weigh but did anyway on Wednesday. When I was really supposed to weigh, this morning, I was at exactly the same place I was a week ago before I had gone on the biggest loser kill youself and burn 1800 calories a day trip. So much for that plan.
Author: Jilligan
•10:24 PM
Another day of 1800+ calories burned. I finished the day around 1985. I am beginning to like working out again and it has been a long time since I have enjoyed working out. I still have to keep reminding myself that the first three miles are torture but after that I can survive. I did 6 miles walking, almost 4 miles on the bike, pushed mowed the yard, pulled weeds, and went with Kallie to walk her dog. Shins are sore but better, arms are sore from the shred video which I didn't get around to doing today.

I am hoping to get up early tomorrow and get alot of my calories burned early before it gets hot. I had to use the treadmill today with the fan on. I like outside better.

I am very proud of myself and want to stick with it through this weekend and then figure out what to do when I have to go back to work. I obviously can't spend this many hours working out or can I?
Author: Jilligan
•10:05 PM
I am alive but barely. JK! Except for sore shins and a little knee pain I am doing good. I got my calorie burn in today by doing 7 miles, shredding, yoga, and some various other things. I had to go with shredding to get my last few calories burned cause my legs are trashed so I needed to add some arms and abs into the mix. Tomorrow I will do a little P90X to mix it up. I hit nearly 2100 yesterday and right at 1900 today. My meals have been okay. I am trying to follow the compulsive eating book for my food intake. While I am following most of the ideas in the book, I am sticking with 1500 calories max.

Both boys have camps again tomorrow so I can still work out in the morning. Kallie is home now so I will have to figure out what to do with her. It is supposed to be a daycare day but I feel bad sending her when I am on vacation. However, I did promise myself that I would do this challenge everyday so maybe I should just take her in the morning. I haven't decided. There is no way I could get my morning mileage in with her and I have no desire to push an extra 70 pounds around which would include the weight of my jogging stroller.

I am icing my shins now. I iced my knees earlier. Going without pain meds today unless I can sleep then I will go with my muscle relaxer. I know tomorrow the 3rd day will be the hardest as far as being sore. I will just waddle through. I can do it.
Author: Jilligan
•5:12 PM
Okay, I have the week off. I have a plan. I will torture myself Biggest Loser style for the week. Sounds like fun, right? I can burn 1800 calories everyday. Keep my eating under 1500 calories a day. By the end of the week I will have lost an unbelievable amount of weight, right? I know it's crazy. But you say crazy like it's a bad thing!

I got up this morning and took one child to baseball camp. I left the car parked at the field and started walk/running when I realized the child above had borrowed my garmin and hadn't charged it. So I walked to the house cause I knew that was 1.5 miles. I plugged in the garmin, took a pit stop, and headed out again. Good thing my droid has many programs that sort of take the place of my garmin. I had wanted to work out without music so my NIKE + also got to stay home. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and the voices in my head. I walked the entire time my son was in baseball camp, with the exception of 2 bathroom breaks. I made it 7 miles this morning. When it was time for baseball camp to be over, I made my way back to the car just in time. I logged my calories at that point and realized I was over half done. Thank you heart rate monitor for not allowing me to die even though you kept thinking I was going to according to your uncontrollable beeping.

After a nice lunch and rehydration, it was time for another baseball camp and another one to basketball camp. This time I drove to our "ranch". It has a nice caliche road that is 1.5 miles long. I started strong but it was much hotter than earlier and I used my water up quickly. I made my way to the back side of the land and was really sick. Without details, it was an emergency! I was also out of water and 1.5 miles from the car. I checked the water tanks to see if I wanted to take a chance with the cattle. Gross, not to drink but just to get in and cool off. I wasn't sweating at all and that's a bad sign. I decided to forgo the water tank and just make my way back to the car slowly. I finally remembered where some water was that I could drink from and I was revived. Got back to the car safely. At one point the flight for life came over me and I wondered if my husband had called 911 to come get me. I also had some flashbacks to movies and wished I had a mirror to flag them down! Just kidding, I wasn't that bad off.

I made it back home finally with enough time before camps were scheduled to be over to jump in an ice bath. The dog really wanted to join me but it was too cold for her or my screaming scared her away. Not sure which. I also had time for a regular shower. Go me!

I ended up with 10 miles, 2100 calories burned and so far have only eaten 700. I took an ice bath, iced my knees again, taken some anti-inflammatory medication and maybe a muscle relaxor. I hope to be able to stay awake through closing ceremonies tonight for baseball.

Not sure what tomorrow will hold but my mom has my daughter, both boys have camps again so I could take another day to torture myself. That is if I can get out of bed. I am sure the biggest losers have no problem with Jillian screaming in their ears. Wonder if I could pay my crazy neighbor to do it?
Author: Jilligan
•10:48 AM
Boy am I bad about posting on my blog. I wish I was a once a day poster at least! I wish I could do this from my droid (any suggestions?). I figure I can take a few minutes and post so I will try and see how long that works out for me.

Summer is in full swing around our house. Baseball games most every night. The kids are at the pool everytime they get a chance. Since they built a new swim center 1/2 block from the house it makes it easy. Expensive but easy. We are members of the local country club but the pool is all the way across town and they can't get there safely yet. (I know, all the way across town is like 2 miles but that includes a major highway and a train track.)

Kallie is going to daycare two days a week this summer and she is mad about it. I don't blame her. I think the boys went some when they were younger, when I taught summer school or took my graduate classes. It doesn't seem far to her and she would much rather come to work with me anyway.

Trevor starts his Strength and Conditioning Camp tonight. He is supposed to go 4 nights a week for 5 weeks. I am really proud of him because he has been getting up to run each day, lifting weights some, and playing baseball. He is a good kid and really excited about h.s. athletics. I hope some jerk of a coach doesn't ruin it.

I have been walking alot, swimming some, golfing a little, and working on building our arena. It's not enough but it all counts for something. I am working through some self-improvement/food issue books trying to solve the compulsive eating problem. True to the book, I have gained some weight as I begin the process but am dealing with that also. I need to go buy some summer clothes that fit now and quit waiting for another size.

Guess that's all for now.
Author: Jilligan
•6:36 PM
Today was a day off from work, from school, from chores, from much of anything! I loved this day. I slept late, really late. I got to take a nice long hot bath without any interruptions. I got to read a book. I took a nap. I did some laundry (thank goodness I only had enough soap for one load, cause I don't want to go overboard). I did a load of dishes. I played with Kip's dog. It was a good me day.

I am reading a new book about emotional eating. I also have a workbook that goes with it. It's pretty good but I haven't decided if it will help me or not. It has caused me to think about why I have been eating over the last few days. I will let you know how it goes.

I am still sore from working on the "swingset". Surprisingly, the back of my legs are the worst. I guess because I can't bend my knees to get down and work, I did a lot of bending instead of squatting. It feels good to be sore. I think we can finish the playground with another day of work.

Baseball season is in full swing so most nights are full with either practice or games. Thursday night we have 6 things scheduled all for the same 2 hour block of the evening. Thank goodness Mom will be able to come help out.

My daughter is calling for my attention. It has something to do with a hula hoop. Sounds exciting!
Author: Jilligan
•11:30 AM
I haven't been taking much time for myself lately. I have been allowing myself to be drained by others. At the end of the day, who am I kidding, at the beginning of the day, I have nothing to give to myself. That will change today. I deserve more from myself and I deserve more from others. I want to make myself important again. I am doing some work on that. In the meantime, I am trying to decide the path to take to get me back to where I need to be. I have been playing around with it for a few weeks and lost 13 pounds. That's been wasted now. Another month of treading water. That's the past. I am looking towards the future.

I really liked the blog today, "The Lawsons did Dallas". http://granolasdodallas.blogspot.com/2010/05/sport-of-selfishness.html It made sense to me, the reasons for running. Now I have to figure out how to get back to that place. The place where I matter, where nothing will get in my way, where I can take steps forward to a healthier me. That's what matters, health.

I am sure you could travel down the pages of my blog and read the same message over and over again. I am not sure that this time will be different but I really want it to be.
Author: Jilligan
•7:03 AM
Well my travels brought me back to Austin again. This time is a completely different experience than the last. Two of our students received awards from UT through our migrant program. Thanks to TEA approval we were able to bring their families to share the experience. Many of you who are not involved in education may not understand the limited experiences that some students/people have had in their lives. Things that we take forgranted are things they think they will never see or do. For example, ordering from a restuarant. Even then they want to know where the $1 menu. None have been to a mall or a movie. First time to stay in a motel and today will be the first time they have been served breakfast cooked to order. First time to swim in a pool for some of them other than the swimming lessons we provide during summer school.

Last night was the first for Asian food. I tried to help them pick safe foods. Most of the 16 were happy and only one would openly express her distaste for her choice but was able to find something she liked. Luckily they had snacked all day so no one went hungry!

Later back at the pool, only one or two had swimsuits but no one seemed to mind that they got in with shorts and tshirts. I tried to get them to try the sauna but no one wanted to, they were afraid it would take their breath.

Today we were going to a march for Cesar Chavez but the kids asked to go to a mall instead. Tomorrow we are going to a museum, IMAX, the Capital, and some exhibits. Monday is the awards presentation, and Tuesday is the drive home.

I have learned alot about their lives and they have all survived things that I hope my own children never have to know. Not only have they survived but they are doing well. I am a better person for having known them and for being able to take this trip with them.
Author: Jilligan
•9:26 PM
Tommorrow we head to Houston after a few days in Austin. Food intake has been okay, water intake a little low, exercise consisted mostly of walking. Before we had left home, I was down 5 pounds. Not sure what the scale will say when we get back. Traveling is always hard. I think I have done better this time because I packed lots of healthy snacks and even a few meals. We haven't eaten out in any out of control ways and I have stayed in my calorie range every day.

I am not sure that the vacation has been much for the kids. They always expect something grand and I don't always feel like I can meet their expectations. The boys are getting to the point where they think they are too old to just hang out at the pool and "play". Some cute girls got them to stay longer one day. I had wanted to take them to the Capitol and to UT but it rained one day and then the mood left me. Maybe we can get those visits in tomorrow before we leave to go to Houston. Maybe I should quit trying to please everyone and just relax myself.

That brings up another thought or maybe more of a feeling. It feels so hard to put myself first. I have been sick this week with a cold/sinus infection and really felt the worst in the morning. I just wanted to sleep. So today I did. I also sat next to the workout room everyday but felt like I couldn't ask the boys to watch my daughter for long enough to get a workout. I did one day but not again. There has been some other stuff that has taken away from me but I won't discuss that here. I guess I type all this to help me realize that I need to make some time for myself. I need to make my wants, desires, and needs important. But how do I do that after all these years?
Author: Jilligan
•9:00 AM
We officially started our spring break vacation yesterday, driving to Austin. My food wasn't great but I didn't go over my calories by much. The main thing was that I didn't get my water in. I felt pretty swollen and retained alot. Gotta do better about that today. Don't have much time to work on my blog this morning because we are packing up and heading to the hotel where my husband's conference is. The kids and I have plans of shopping, swimming, and playing.
Author: Jilligan
•11:10 AM
Another week is gone. I have done well this week. I really wanted to eat the entire house last night but had a school board meeting that took up a few hours and then got on the treadmill until time to go to bed. I won't weight again until next week but don't really feel much different.

I saw my knee doctor for what I hope will be the last time. The only restrictions that I have now are no kneeling, no stairs, no squatting, and limit bending to 90 degrees. You ask for how long and I say forever, Forever, FFFFFOOOOORRRRREEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR. Not the best news but could be worse. I will continue the P90X with limits, I will continue the BFL workouts with modifications, and I will continue to run.

On another note, an old friend passed away yesterday. He was 39 years young. Autopsy results will be in today and everyone is questioning why. I have lots of mixed feelings about the whole thing. Feelings that won't be discussed here. But these feelings are what caused me to want to eat. In that regard, I was strong. I did not eat. I did not crawl in bed and hide. I did not rush to rescue everyone. I did what I needed. I exercised. I stuck to my meal plan. I talked about my feelings with a friend and with my husband. I felt better. I didn't sleep well but I can recover from that.

Spring break is starting at 3:45 today. We will be traveling alot but I look forward to the time with my kids and with my family. I will use this time for myself.
Author: Jilligan
•9:08 PM
I wasn't very today from yesterday's workout but as I sit here tonight getting caught up on facebook I can feel the soreness coming on. I love it. I know that I will need to work through these first few days of soreness and stick with it so I can make the changes I need to make.

I got my kickboxing workout in and 40 minutes on the treadmill. I started watching/listening to a movie last night while I was working out. I didn't allow myself to finish it unless I was on the treadmill. Tonight I only had a 40 minute workout but still have 10 minutes left of the movie. I am tempted to get back on the treadmill to finish it. I think it's a good tool. I never have time to sit and watch a full movie so if I can get two workouts in and one movie then it will work great.

Anybody have any good movie suggestions?
Author: Jilligan
•4:01 PM
Wow, Jodie! You did a great job on the other site. Thanks for working so hard to help me do what I need to do to be successful. You are a great sister and friend. I am glad to have you on this journey with me. I hope we both reach our goals.
Author: Jilligan
•3:50 PM
Albert Einstein observed, "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."

Any thoughts?
Author: Jilligan
•9:39 AM
Down 3 pounds. Down to less than 20 ounces of dt soda daily. Down to bed at 10:00. Down to water. Down to 6 meals daily. Guess you could say, I'm down to that!
Author: Jilligan
•2:41 PM
Haven't been much better about blogging but have been doing better about my 5 goals. I have been able to get 3 of the 5 everyday and 5 of 5 most days. I haven't been as faithful to logging on to Sparkpeople but I have been logging my food/calories in a journal. I didn't lose any this week but I will not get discouraged.

On the exercise front, I can start running again this week. Since my knee injury in November I have been very limited. Since surgery in January I was restricted to walking as my only weight bearing activity. Since all of this boy have I done some weight bearing! But enough negative talk.

Schedules are busy right now so I am having trouble making myself a priority. I will though. I must.

A friend gave me a great quote to help me stay the course: "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Albert Einstein

I am interpreting this to mean lots of things. What do you think?
Author: Jilligan
•7:56 PM
I finally forced myself to get on the scale this week. I knew I was way past where I had been before because none of my clothes were fitting. Sure enough, I am heavier than I have ever been not pregnant. I knew it in my mind but hadn't really seen it yet. So I made myself actually look in the mirror. I really don't like that person staring back at me. She looks tired, her skin is blotchy and broken out, she is lumpy, she has rolls where there aren't supposed to be rolls, and she had back fat. Enough of that because I am trying not to have any negative self talk.

After this self analysis, I set 5 small goals for myself. 1. Move at least 10 minutes extra everyday. 2. Drink 8-8 oz glasses of water. 3. Limit myself to 20 oz of dt soda daily. 4. Get 7 hours of sleep each night. 5. Journal my calories, thoughts, and exercise.

Then I got my marble jar back out. I will put one marble daily for each of the 5 goals. I will put two marbles in for each pound. I will put an extra marble in for each day that I get all 5 goals.

I have to do this. I know I say this everytime but I really have to now. I don't want to be this example for my kids. I want to be the healthy, happy, hopeful example. I want them to see me loving life not just trying to get by.

If you can help me, please do. If you can't, oh well, I need to learn to do this for myself anyway.
Author: Jilligan
•5:46 PM
Gonna have some time on my hands so thought I better catch up on my blog. I have had another knee surgery which means I will be home for at least a week if not two. Not really sure if this was related to my ripstick event or actually to falling at a football game. I had some procedures done that should get me through the next 15 years when they will finally do a knee replacement.

Today I am sore but not in pain. Tomorrow I will get to remove the bandages and assess the damage with a session of physical therapy. Thank goodness for pain medication.

The kids had a snow day today and have been a lot of help. TJ made lunch and Trevor made me an orange julius for a treat. Kallie is good to get me whatever I need and to help me get unhooked from my ice machine. The boys went sledding today while Kallie and I napped. Nice day at our house. Not sure what tomorrow will bring but so far they are starting late.

As for the hubby, he had to leave as soon as the kids were ready to take over this morning. There are lots of power lines done and he didn't expect to be home tonight. Please thank a lineman if you have power today in this snow storm because they have worked hard.

A neighbor is bringing dinner so I really feel blessed. Thankful for all that I have.