Author: Jilligan
•9:26 PM
Tommorrow we head to Houston after a few days in Austin. Food intake has been okay, water intake a little low, exercise consisted mostly of walking. Before we had left home, I was down 5 pounds. Not sure what the scale will say when we get back. Traveling is always hard. I think I have done better this time because I packed lots of healthy snacks and even a few meals. We haven't eaten out in any out of control ways and I have stayed in my calorie range every day.

I am not sure that the vacation has been much for the kids. They always expect something grand and I don't always feel like I can meet their expectations. The boys are getting to the point where they think they are too old to just hang out at the pool and "play". Some cute girls got them to stay longer one day. I had wanted to take them to the Capitol and to UT but it rained one day and then the mood left me. Maybe we can get those visits in tomorrow before we leave to go to Houston. Maybe I should quit trying to please everyone and just relax myself.

That brings up another thought or maybe more of a feeling. It feels so hard to put myself first. I have been sick this week with a cold/sinus infection and really felt the worst in the morning. I just wanted to sleep. So today I did. I also sat next to the workout room everyday but felt like I couldn't ask the boys to watch my daughter for long enough to get a workout. I did one day but not again. There has been some other stuff that has taken away from me but I won't discuss that here. I guess I type all this to help me realize that I need to make some time for myself. I need to make my wants, desires, and needs important. But how do I do that after all these years?
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2 comments:

On March 18, 2010 at 9:49 PM , Mel said...

Start with little things that you want that make you happy. Then work your way up to bigger things you have in mind. It may take baby steps to change the way you have been doing things for years.

 
On March 19, 2010 at 9:14 AM , Jodie said...

I think that's part of being a mom. I feel guilty even asking Bryan if its okay for me to go run. And then the whole time, worry about getting back. I know he doesn't mind, but I still feel that way.

The boys will probably give you a hard time, that's what kids do. But if you start doing it, then they'll come to understand its part of them being big brothers.

Could you take Kallie and have her play a DS in the corner or something?

Hope you feel better soon.