Author: Jilligan
•11:15 PM

Lots of thunder and lightening with a chance of rain. I think it hasn't rained since October. We made it through the entire baseball game tonight counting the seconds between lightening and thunder. We kept our eye to the sky and the lightening radar. A few sprinkles came and the kids in the bleachers jumped down to try and catch them on their tongues. The whole scene reminded me of something my grandad would say. He always thought it was funny to say something about there being kids that had never seen rain since the day they were born. I always thought it was funny because taken literally it would mean it had rained every day a kid was born so that would be lots of rain. However, like tonight's storm, he meant it was so long since it had rained there are probably kids who have never seen rain.

My husband just got called out because lightening hit a power line. Hopefully we will actually see some moisture out of this and not just trouble. Either way, I pray everyone is safe and sound tonight in this weather.

Author: Jilligan
•6:54 PM
Got my call back for the 2nd round of interviews. Was going to have to juggle the times with some work commitments but thought I could make it work until the lady told me it was an all day interview. What? Yep, from 9 to 5 unless I could make it for breakfast and then they could start at 7:30. What in the world kind of interview is this? And for less then a teacher makes and for more hours? Are they serious? Well, I was supposed to get some more information about the interview over the weekend. Never heard anything. I was going to call and cancel the interview but hadn't gotten around to it. Today I got a call that some kind of unforeseen circumstances were causing them to cancel the interviews. Okay, no other explanation but that. They will get back to me. Weird, but okay. At least I wasn't the one backing out, not yet anyway.
Author: Jilligan
•4:49 PM

I have been running 5Ks and half marathons for about 10 years, a lot the first few years, fewer in the last few years. I don't think I have run a 5K in about 6 years. Most of the time I had to run in men's shorts because the women's cut was too small. Most of the time I ran in men's shirts for the same reason. Occasionally I would find something in the women's section that I could cram into. I never got to pick because I always had to buy what was available in my size. 10 years ago I got to pick out cute clothes to run in. Today I got to pick out something to run in. I got to choose. I didn't have to buy the only thing that was available. I got to shop around. I got to decide.

I am not expecting great things at the race today but great things are happening because of the effort I have put into life. I get to run today because I am making my body important again. I am not expecting great things today I am expecting them from now on.

Posted By Blogger to My Diet Buddies at 5/30/2011 03:56:00 AM

Author: Jilligan
•10:57 PM

I am too old and too tired to be running at 11:00 at night. Hope I can get out of bed tomorrow. 4:30 am is much better and much cooler temp. But it is done. The run is recorded.

Author: Jilligan
•4:57 PM

I had a job interview today. It was a great feeling knowing I have a job and am not needing a job. It was also great knowing I was worthy of an interview. Now it's just a matter of wait and see.

Author: Jilligan
•8:53 AM

My dress is a size 6. I know all sizes are different. But I never remember wearing a size 6. My grandma made most of my dresses. Even my prom dresses were hand me downs or used dresses that she would remake into something wonderful.

I do have a pair of pants from my bfl days that are a size 8. Wonder where those are? I know I saved them.

Anyway, it really isn't about a size. And it really isn't about a weight anymore. It's about my feelings-mental, physical, and emotional. I am not where I want to be with any of those but I am still working, making progress. That's the focus now-progress not perfection.

Author: Jilligan
•5:52 AM

Perfect morning
Perfect weather
Perfect 3
Perfect feelings
Perfect legs
Perfect lungs

Another 3 down with no walking breaks. Runs this week have been limited because I have been so tired. However, this morning when my alarm was going off and my body or maybe my mind was saying how tired I was, I just decided to get up and run. The extra sleep I have be taking in the mornings instead of the run, opting for an evening run instead, have not been helping with my tiredness. So let's go back to exercising and see if that doesn't give me the energy I need. I can go back to getting in bed as soon as possible at night and it will all work out.

Yesterday I went back to adding some carbs into the diet in a test mode. Probably not a good idea for the first carb to be pie crust, not the filling, just the crust. My son wanted to eat out after his game and there was a self serv cobbler bar with a fresh cobbler. Perfect chance for the crust lover in me to get a piece of the top crust. It was good. Not grandma/mom cobbler good but pretty good after such a long hiatus. I stayed within my range this morning and that's what its all about right now. I had wanted to be down 80 at this point but 79 is pretty darn close. I will work on letting my body adjust to this new set point and start plugging away at the next 20 in June.

Hope you have perfect weather for a perfect run to start your day (notice I didn't say perfect day, too much pressure).

Author: Jilligan
•11:19 AM
Still chasing that elusive pound to get me to 80. A little indiscretion with my son's bday cake caused me to go up. I got back down to where I was and have been treading the rest of the week. I know I will get there eventually. I am also beginning to come to gripes with my weight at this stage and how I look. I am having to take a step back and appreciate the work I have done. I will keep at it. I will get that 80.
Author: Jilligan
•5:55 AM
1 pound away from 80 pounds lost. I am feeling much better after last week. I know it's only Tuesday but let's all try to be optimistic.

Some good things are going on. 1. My husband bought me a dress for Mother's Day. I picked the size and I thought I would have to take it back to exchange it because it would be too small. Wrong! I needed a smaller size. I needed a, wait for it...wait for it...I am so sure I am going to tell you my size. Okay, you twisted my arm. I needed a 10. Now before you "say" anything let's remember that I started this journey in a 22 or 2X. Moving on. 2. I ran my entire run this morning without stopping. Not one single time. Not even tricking myself to say I needed to blow my nose or I needed to tie my shoe. I RAN THE ENTIRE 3 MILES. I think that's really great considering I only really got one good run in last week due to my stay in the local resort, other's call a hospital. 3. My son is doing okay after his fight. Some of the kids are still being jerks and the other boy's girlfriends' mom was "mad dogging" him last night at a school event but other then that he is pretty good. His eye is still really black and blue. His ear is much better and the cuts are healing up pretty good. 4. Texas qualified for some additional stimulus money for education so the budget at work is looking better. Board meeting tonight that should determine my future with the district. I am hoping for a raise but may have to settle for shortened contract. 5. Got some new running clothes for Mother's Day also. Had to go down a size in them also. Actually made myself try them on before leaving the store. Really excited about that. I have mentioned before about having to buy men's running clothes. The fit was okay and didn't bother me but there were never any colors or cuteness to them. Now I am just glad to at least be able to buy in color!

Some other things I would like to happen: 1. My spare house really needs to sell. Finances are tight but I am just tired of being cramped both literally and physically in a house that doesn't fit us. 2. Work needs to settle down. I am still really having lots of stress from work. I know I need to figure out how to deal with the stress because I can't change the stresses. 3. I have to convince my DH to get the AC going at the house. We don't have central AC so each room gets a window unit. They have to be put in soon or sleeping is about to become unbearable.

So a few minor things going on and a few major things but much less stressful then last week. Crazy time of the year as school winds down. Just have to make sure I keep up with the pace.
Author: Jilligan
•6:41 AM

Well I did a little something Monday and then drug myself thru a mile on the treadmill Tuesday, an easy mile on Wednesday, rode my bike with my daughter on Thursday, and walked yesterday. So it made perfect sense, NOT, for me to jump up this morning and put in my long run of 5 miles. It was ugly. It was slow. I went to 2/1 intervals. I burned 800 calories according to all my monitors. I think that's more then I have eaten all week! 

Of course I am being over dramatic about it but it probably wasn't the smartest thing I have done. However, I have comfort in the fact that it wasn't the dumbest either! 

Update on "Rocky": he made it thru the day at school with minor teasing which he expected. He says he didn't have anymore trouble with one of the boys but the other one still wants to fight. I told him the police would become involved if this continued. He says he is fine. He is worried about it and dissappointed in himself but he still says he had to protect himself. His face will heal. I just hope he finds out who his real friends are when this is all said and done. I hope he isn't dissappointed by that discovery.

My weekend is free now that my run is done so I am taking him to see his girlfriend(long distance relationship) and then going to spend some girl time with my daughter for mother's day. Enjoy your weekend.

Author: Jilligan
•10:49 PM

A mother should never have to do certain things. Tonight I had to clean my son's face after another boy beat him. I am sure the other boy's mother had to do the same.

I got a call from my husband telling me that our oldest had been in a fight in self defense. He told me he had a busted lip and a black eye. And that we needed to talk before deciding what to do about it. Apparently some boys had been mouthing off to my son and words quickly became action. I guess they fought until they got it out of their system and then got up and shook hands. I don't understand it.
I have worried all night about what would happen. Some boys videoed the fight on their phones so I worried that it would make its way to the internet. Should I go talk to the other boy's parents? Should I go to the police? Should we punish our son?

I was angry at the choices he made but he asked me,  "Didn't I want him to defend himself?" He asked me if I just wanted him to stand there and get beaten.  He asked me if I knew it would be worse if he hadn't fought back?

So I cleaned his face. I put ointment on his cuts. I looked at the knots and the bruises. I gave him ice.  I cried. And I did nothing.

Author: Jilligan
•6:22 PM
My days are confused but I think I can get this straight. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling sick, thinking it was from some smart balance mayo that had gone bad and the chili I added to my hot dog. I was thinking the diet was punishing me for stepping outside of the boundaries! Ha! So I got up to see what I could take and what part of my workout I could get done. I found some pepto and got on the treadmill. There was no way 2.5 miles was going to take place. I got my MED in and then went and crawled back in bed. Remember I run at 4:30 so this hadn't interrupted much of my morning yet. I woke DH up to tell him he was on his own getting the kids ready for school. I had a noon meeting and thought I might make it to work by then. At 8:15, I got a call from the school saying my daughter was sick so I got up and got dressed. DH came home to help with her. At 2:30, we got a call that our son was sick. Turns our both the kids were fine. May have had a slight touch of the same bug but didn't hit them as hard. Both were never sick again after getting home. As a matter of fact, my son played his baseball game last night. Just glad they didn't get as sick from it. Hard to have sick kids when mom is so sick.

Today's lunch at the hospital wasn't much better then breakfast. For those of you that don't know, I am not a food mixer. I want most things separate. I can handle certain things mixed like enchiladas, or lasagna but for the most part I want it separate. So anyway, the nurse comes in and says if I can keep my lunch down they will let me go home. Guess what it was, turkey pot pie. Now this gags me under normal circumstances but with a weak stomach, please. Luckily my DH likes, maybe even loves, this type of food. So he ate it for me. How do they expect you to keep something down that looks like what you have been throwing up for the last day?

Another nurse came in and saw how close my iv bag was to being finished so she slowed it down so they wouldn't start another one. Finally, the main nurse came in and said if I could tolerate my headache at home, they would let me go. They gave me one more dose of the stomach medicine, took my iv out, and sent me home.

I was dumb enough to get on the scale when I got home and that iv cost me 5 pounds. Nothing to eat for two days and I gain 5 pounds. Ugh.

I had a window of strength this evening and everyone that might stop me was out of the house so I got on the treadmill and walked my mile. It was slow. It took me forever but wouldn't you have rather me streaked tonight on my treadmill then this morning in my hospital gown?
Author: Jilligan
•9:55 AM

Seriously, my breakfast was a popsicle, a cup of jello, coffee with real sugar, and some kind of broth. At the time it was repulsive so I went to sleep. Now it is gone and I would love to have it back.

Author: Jilligan
•3:58 AM

Today's weigh in should have been a great one. Not because of precise calorie counting or a last chance biggest loser type workout but because I had been throwing up the last 24 hours. I had become so weak and was throwing up so often I spent most of yesterday on the bathroom floor trying to save my strength for the next round. I missed my son's ballgame.

Finally I decided I was close enough to death to at least go to the er. I had been through all the phenagren I had and was getting no relief. Once my husband got home, I thought I wasn't too bad and might wait it out but when he had to lift me out of the bathtub he told me we were going regardless of how "good" I said I was feeling.

The er staff ran some tests and stabbed around trying to find a vein to start an iv. After an hour of trying to sleep on the exam table, they admitted me. Seems my white blood cell count is alarmingly high. DH got me settled and went home to stay with the kids just in case any of them started getting the stuff. A nurse was supposed to be in around 12:30 to talk to me about the course of treatment and what they thought was wrong. I haven't seen that nurse yet. Sure the CNA has been in to check my vitals every hour and someone came when I called to tell them my iv bag was empty.

I am on my third bag of iv fluid and this is why I say the weigh in will be bogus. The hospital band that was loose 3 hours ago is digging into my arm. Ha,ha the nurse said.

Well I am an above the arm sleeper. I never dreamed they would keep me over night and my iv is in my hand that I like to but above my head and under my pillow. Sleep is not coming. Also, there are strange noises that keep waking me up. Unfamiliar sounds that startle me awake. I have nearly jumped out of bed twice from them.

Not sure how my weight/diet and my running will suffer as a result of this "stomach bug". I really hope no one else in my family gets it. I hope one night of iv fluids is all I need from the hospital. I hope you and your family have managed to avoid this illness. Being sick to your stomach is the pits but as my Grandma would always say, "Could be worse". Oh I forgot to mention the nurse or whatever she was couldn't read the scale so she announced my weight outloud to everyone in hearing range as 10 pounds heavier then what it was. I knew I was sick then cause I didn't even have the energy to punch her.