Author: Jilligan
•6:15 AM

I have lost my way. I am still running and I am still working on my plan but I have lost the desire. I have lost the motivation. I can barely remember the reason I started.

There comes a point in your weight loss journey where the place you are at becomes good enough. The stuggle becomes harder then the battle.  I am at this point.

So many people have started to notice my weight loss and in turn noticed me. I don't feel comfortable with that. They start to say things mostly out of jealousy but its a real drag to hear their garbage. I know I shouldn't allow their feelings to project but I can't help myself sometimes.

Here is the real problem. I am at my lowest weight yet still feel like a failure at it.  I bought some new pants last night going from a size 22 to 12, not happy about that. Lost 13 pounds in the last 6 weeks, not enough. Lost 8 inches in the last month, nope not happy about that either.  See the problem. These should all be very good things but they aren't enough. And here is the reason(s), I still hate my job or really some of the people there, I am still paying a mortgage on a house that I don't live in, I am still wishing my childhood was different, and it just goes on and on. I know my sister would tell me stop whining and start living and that's what I have been trying to do since October. I just don't think I am doing it right.

I am still walking on the path but I just don't know where the path is going.

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