Author: Jilligan
•5:11 PM
"If you've ever been fat, you will either be fat for the rest of your life or you will worry about being fat for the rest of your life." I read this quote in an article today titled The Thin Line -The Memory of Being Fat never Subsides-Even After You Become Fit.

In a way I see the truth behind the quote but think it goes deeper then that. I have been in both of these situations so it really struck a chord with me. When I am engrossed in dieting, it's all I can think about. When I get tired of dieting and let myself go, I don't really think about dieting all the time or even about being fat. I just go numb in all aspects of my life. So maybe that's why the quote rang true with me.

"If you've ever been fat, you will either be fat for the rest of your life (the times in my life when I let my weight go and didn't care about my health, my fitness, or the garbage I was putting into my body) or you will worry about being fat for the rest of your life." (the stage I am in now)

No, I am not where I want to be and I am far from being finished with dieting or weight loss. And it is all I think about. I weigh in the morning. I weigh after going to the bathroom. I weigh at lunch. I weigh at night. I go to bed thinking about food/dieting/exercise/water and I wake up thinking about food/dieting/exercise/water and I spend most of the day thinking about food/dieting/exercise/water. It's replacing one obsession with another. It's one compulsive behavior taking the place of a different one. And then I get tired of it and start slipping. A little extra here and there with my food. A little less exercise. A little less water and a little more diet soda. It just goes on and on.

I am to the point now where lots of people are noticing my weight loss. They comment on it. They want to try my magic diet. They want to exercise with me. They want to know my secrets. This reminds me of another quote that I like, "Anyone who treats you differently because you have lost weight isn't worth your time."

But back to the original quote. I am not worried about the memory of being fat. I am worried about losing that memory. Because I think once I lose that memory I forget everything about why I wanted to lose the weight and become healthy. I will instead embrace those memories. Work through those memories. Learn to feel comfortable with those memories. And while worrying isn't always a positive thing, I do think I will allow myself to worry about being fat. Because I never want to be fat again.
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On February 11, 2011 at 10:20 AM , Jodie said...

I read that article and reposted it on FB.

I actually teared up, because it's so true. Even when I was at my thinnest, I was still thinking about food/exercise all the time.

It's so true. Always thinking about it. I know there are people out there who don't think about food all the time, and I can't imagine how that would feel. Can't even fathom that.